Christmas Eve
A lot of the time, I write these entries late at night and date them as if it was still yesterday, since it really does not make much sense to date it if it is like, 2 am into the next day. So I am probably going to date this as the 23rd, but for me, it just became the 24th. It is currently 12:20 AM as I type this very line. So merry christmas eve if you happen to read this the day it is written. I essentially write these entries with the assumption that they will not be read by even one person, and more use them as a way to stay engaged with the site, and also keep my mental acuity fairly sharp, as if it was not for these posts, I would probably not think very much about my day at the end of it, or even really take stock of my emotional state. Writing entries here has helped me be more mentally present with myself, for better or worse I guess. Anyway, merry christmas eve, fictional reader.
Christmas
Rather anxious for christmas day this year. This year, I did not attend Thanksgiving due to poor mental health, so I am pretty concerned for how christmas is going to go. I do not do well with large amounts of people, especially when I feel obligated to interact with them. If it was solely up to me, I would stay home alone, but that would make my mother quite sad, so I will give it my best shot for her sake.
Video Games
I got pretty deep through Drakengard 3 a few days ago and have been having a bit of a tough time playing more of it, due to my inability to feel good about concentrating on something. Instead, I have been playing a large amount of UFO 50. I don't really like the game very much, and I think the vast majority of the games in the collection are not for me. That being said, I have already gotten 13 gold cartidges (beating the games) including some games I didn't even like. Planet Zoldath was not very good, but I golded it. The game I am pleasantly surprised by how I much I am enjoying is Grimstone. Grimstone is an RPG styled after old school final fantasy and set in a cowboy + demon kind of setting. The western setting and music is very well executed and the gameplay is rather engaging, especially for a retro rpg. Mooncat was another game I liked a lot. Elfazar's Hat is one of my favorites too, as I love Pocky and Rocky and this is styled after that. All in all, there is probably at least one game for everyone in this collection, but there are also like 30 that I abhor LOL so if you are ok with that, maybe give the game a look.
Whatever else
I have not been in a mindset recently where I am able to watch any form of television series, but I am interested in watching Serial Experiments Lain once I feel ready to watch something. I know very little about it but people seem to love it a lot, and it seems like the kind of thing I would enjoy. I also really want to watch Cowboy Bebop soon, as it is one of the last series I would consider like, an all time important anime that I have not seen. Now that I have seen Evangelion, cowboy bebop is probably the biggest one left to check off.
An old friend of mine that I had not heard from in a while reached out to me recently, which I am very glad about. I missed her dearly so I am very relieved to hear from her again. There is something so comforting in having a bond with another person you have know for years, and feeling like no matter how much time passes, you'll never truly stop being friends. I count myself very lucky to have a few of those. Very kind people who are understanding and patient. Everyone has their own demons, so it is wonderful when you have people who are accepting of yours. If you are reading this and have a friend who is important to you, make sure they know how much you cherish them. And if you ever have a disagreement with them, don't let small things drive you apart. Resolve even the smallest of grievances before they compound into something more unmanageable.
I feel like I had more stories to tell when I was younger. Or perhaps it is just that I have grown weary of telling them. For it is infinitely more satisfying to me to gain the perspective of another rather than trying to impart my own unto others. I feel like everything I have learned about life and the human mind is probably stuff most people don't even have to think about and that my experiences are so different from how some people interact with the world that they wouldn't even gain anything from having heard my perspective. Conversely, I love hearing the perspectives of others because I yearn for even a glimpse into what it would be like to be someone else, and have my brain work in a totally different way. Sometimes I talk to people and am able to find such solid common ground, and other times I hear someone say something that betrays the fact that my mind could not be any more different from theirs. I am growing weary of writing about this so I will move on.
I played some Isaac for the first time in quite a while reently and am always surprised at how fun it still is. I have every completion mark, there is no real reason to keep playing, but I always enjoy my time with it. I don't even think the actual combat is all that great, but the items and systems in the game are genuinely so compelling and impressive. It is truly a monument to the very idea of roguelikes. And as someone who has played Rogue, I feel qualified to say that. Rogue is actually so sick, it's crazy.
Getting sick of writing this entry. It is now 1:12 AM so I think I am going to wrap up here. In summary, christmas scary, video games good. Real life bad, computer world good. Be kind to your friends, play good video games, and specifically old ones and ones you haven't played yet.
I think that's all I have for you for today.
-Jake Spondulio
