Christmas
I honestly don't have much to say about Christmas. It went well, to my surprise and I had a good time and that's about it. If it went worse I'd have more to say LOL but yeah it was good.
Music
Is there something profoundly narcissistic about listening to my own music? Like, so many people who make music say they hate listening to their own music but that couldn't be any farther from the truth for me. I love my songs so much and listen to them what I'd describe as a slightly unreasonable amount lol. Not like every day or anything, but every once in a while, I will got omy music page and just go down the list. I feel very prod of them, much more proud than basically anything else I have made. I take almost no pride in my drawings, and my games are so miniscule that there's hardly anything to take pride in. And while my skill at making music, both on the compositional side and skill with using fl studio is quite limited, I am rather proud of what I have been able to create. And when I am listening to my music, it feels almost like these ideas I have put out into this world are able to return home to my brain, like a grown child visiting a parent after moving out. I write my music in such a way where since it is entirely comprised of my sensibilities, I think it would be impossible for me not to like it basically more than anyone. One little tidbit that I have forgotten to mention until now is that I still use the trial version of FL Studio, so I cannot load saved projects, meaning I have made every one of my songs in one sitting, no saving. I make the whole thing, then export it at the end. This effectively limits the scope of what I could ever realistically make, which helps me be satisfied with smaller songs. The only other way I have made music is in Warioware D.I.Y. which has a pretty brutal length limitation on the songs you can make there. I also just really love using video game soundfonts so I am reluctant to ever move on to more high fidelity samples for my music. It also is another crutch to point to and blame for any shortcomings my songs have. I, as a person, am in constant fear of inadequacy, so little things to hide behind like that really help me justify my own incompetence without ever having to work harder. That is why I still do all my drawings in FireAlpaca despite knowing better options are available.
CRT Television
It is no secret that I am a retro gamer and Melee player, so it goes hand in hand that I would have a profound love of CRT televisions. My wii u gamepad charger broke, so that is one of the things I got for christmas. Now I am once again able to play youtube videos on my crt, so I think that will be one of my main ways of consuming media for quite a while. I also used to use my gamepad to play grayfruit vods to fall asleep to.
Ok sorry to cut this short, might update later but a friend just called me so bye
I think that's all I have for you today
-Jake Spondulio
